Jenn Howe

Hello, blog readers.

I wanted to drop by and leave a few lines, as I’ve been absent for some time.

In recent months, I had the harrowing experience of watching a friend die slowly. Yes, it was the dreaded “C word” (cancer). Yes, her battle has ended. A few weeks ago, she passed away.

I know most people have experienced the death of someone they love, but this was the closest person I’ve ever had to lose, and it wrecked me.  It was especially hard to watch her suffer and fight for so long. I hope that when my time comes, I can be half as strong and graceful as she was about her situation.

Also happening this summer: my daughter went through a breakup with her live-in boyfriend of about two years. Your own heartbreak is enough to bear, but having to watch your child navigate that maze of sorrow…horrible.

What a precious girl. ❤

So I haven’t been blogging or sharing very much — it has been a time of work, quiet, healing, trying to wrap my head around the loss of my friend, and being there for my daughter.

Now comes a period where I take some much needed time to explore another land and enjoy life. This evening, I’ll once again be blasting across the ocean toward another continent. Nothing fills my heart and soul more than travel. I’ve worked hard and earned this on my own. I deserve this, and I’m going to have the time of my life.

When I come back, I hope I’ll feel much better and be ready to share many memories and new creations with you all.

In the meantime, here is one new poem, as well as a link to this year’s summer playlist (as is my yearly tradition). I hope you enjoy…

Welcome to The Sisterhood

My daughter has a broken heart

and I cannot rest.

I watch over her sleeping body

like a mother wolf bent over her pup,

snarling, howling into the night,

prepared to kill in order to protect.

—

But she has already been rocked

by the great pain that I can’t prevent.

The stinging shock of deception has

caused a seismic shift inside her,

and the emotional landscape

will never be the same.

Her step will now be hesitant and unsteady,

her future decisions darkened by doubt.

—

I am powerless, just as I was when

she had the flu as an infant

and I could only bear witness to her terror.

Crying in a cold, clinical room and

catching her vomit in my hand,

I tried to explain to this tiny person

who did not yet have a language:

If you can just ride out the storm,

you will laugh and play again.

Each hard-won battle

will leave you with a new immunity

and a renewed lust for life.

You must fight, little one,

and always keep a hopeful heart.

—

Now, I wait for her to awaken

so we can begin the ritual.

I will light candles and

bring her comfort foods

dense with sugar and carbs.

We will watch comedies

in an effort to laugh and forget,

even if just for a moment.

She will remember and be rattled

again and again, until she prays for amnesia.

She will ask questions

and I will respond truthfully:

No, you are not overreacting.

Yes, you are more than enough —

never forget how special you are.

No, I don’t know why people do these things.

Yes, you will survive this.

—

Mostly, I will be silent

as she spills her pain repeatedly

and tries to make sense of it.

I will listen as she tells

her own version of the familiar story —

the one I recited each time

I was the one whose heart was broken,

as we all have been or will be.

But there is safety and solace in the sisterhood,

where each generation of females

comforts the next as best they can

in this daisy chain of pain and recovery

that reaches both backward and forward,

unbroken, into forever.

— Copyright Jenn Howe, 2018

And here’s the link to…..

Jenn’s Hot Summer Playlist 2018:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTz8FO5duqLs9VoOESfn-QkZrJpVPfRGg

Okay…FINALLY got my bags packed (😅 🙌🏼 🙏🏻).

I’m finishing up this blog on my phone and I’m headed for my first flight of three.

Until next time…

Love to you all,

Jenn

☺️