Jenn Howe

1.  The big moment came.  Now my girl is a high school graduate.

🎉👏😭

This photo is hilarious (above).  She looks SO ready to be done. She’s like “Pshhhhyeah, let’s wrap this thing up.”

      

Baby girl rocked it out. Graduated with Honors, 4.09 GPA. 🌟🎓🏆

She plans to be an orthodontist.

After the ceremony, it was time to celebrate with a party just for her…

Keepin’ it real. 👆

Her favorite part:  getting lots of moneyyyyyy. 💰

A wonderful night…and I couldn’t be prouder. She did such a great job in high school. I can’t wait to see what she accomplishes in the future.

And then, as if I didn’t have ENOUGH major life changes going on…

2.  Lordy, Lordy, look who’s forty!

I hit the big one, y’all.  🎂4⃣0⃣🎆

Lana and I brought it in alone…peacefully, sweetly. She baked me cupcakes with enough candles to create a glow visible from outer space.

#werk #ThisGirlIsForty

I have such mixed feelings. In many ways, I feel great. I enjoy getting older. My mind is certainly more beautiful — every single day. And emotionally, I’m so much more stable and mature. I find aging to be a (mostly) pleasant experience.

BUT.

This is a major transition period for me. It isn’t just (roughly) the “mid-way point” of my life, should I be lucky enough to live to old age…it’s also the time when I must shift from being a full-time Mom to having an “empty nest”. I’ve spent my life living for others, putting someone else’s wants and needs before my own:  roommates, boyfriends, a husband, then my daughter…they always came first. Shocking fact:  I’ve never lived FOR MYSELF.

In four decades on this planet, I’ve obviously learned many things about who I am:  hobbies I love, things I will (and will not) tolerate, desires and beliefs, fears that still need to be conquered. But who am I, really, if not just “Mom”?  Being a mother has been my life’s work, and while it was the greatest honor filled with endless happiness, I lost a huge part of myself. Or perhaps I never found it to begin with.

Very soon, my daughter will move out and begin her life as an adult. For me, it will be a bittersweet phase — a time for letting go of my girl, but also the start of a long honeymoon period with myself.  There will be much sadness that she isn’t here with me, but I plan to enjoy each moment of self-discovery as I follow my “gorgeous curiosity” (Elizabeth Gilbert used this term, and I love it).  I’ll be on an unfamiliar, unsteady, yet thrilling path that will lead me to what I want.

In the meantime, I’ve still got a couple of months until she leaves town for her college studies, and I plan to enjoy an amazing summer with my sweet girl. May you all enjoy the warm days ahead…

Until next time,

Jenn 😊